


Sometimes shit turns to gold

by Tedah



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Accidental marriage (discussion), Animal keeper Draco Malfoy, Creature Draco Malfoy, Don't copy to other sites, Fluff, H/D Owlpost Holiday Fest, Harm to children (accidental), Humor, M/M, Snowball Fight, Teacher Harry Potter, harry gets a boyfriend for Christmas, holiday trip
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-01
Updated: 2019-12-01
Packaged: 2021-01-07 21:35:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21224567
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tedah/pseuds/Tedah
Summary: Harry plans a holiday trip with his very young students. Nothing goes according to plan. It actually goes to shit at one point, but sometimes shit turns to gold.





	Sometimes shit turns to gold

**Author's Note:**

> The idea for this was born while I watched Disenchantment so blame Matt Groening for it.  
Jae, it's not technically 'a baby for Christmas' but it's close enough, right? And it /is/ holidays with the pets, so it's a two for one? I don't know I just hope you enjoy it. It's fluffy, Harry's ridiculous, it's a little bit cracky and Draco has a very nice cloak.
> 
> Thank you E. for taking care of my chronic inability to use proper punctuation, you are a champ.

Harry thought that bringing the children on a trip to the mountains before christmas holidays was a great idea. What could go wrong? They'd play in the snow, drink as much hot chocolate as their tiny body could hold and Harry could maybe teach them something outside of class, there were interesting creatures one might encounter in the mountains.

He got a hold of a contact through Luna, there was a perfect resort close to animal sanctuaries one muggle but there was a magical one too that Harry wanted to bring the kids to within walking distance from the resort. It was the perfect plan, right?

Wrong.

Horribly wrong. 

He barely had time to settle the kids in their rooms the first night before things started going distinctly not according to plan. He was having a butterbeer after dinner, in front of the fire in the lounge with Padma, who’d volunteered to chaperone the trip with him. The children were excited for their planned visit to the wolf sanctuary the next day and they were waiting for the head ranger of the mooncalf sanctuary nearby to arrange the children’s visit. He did not expect Draco Malfoy to walk in, brushing snow off his cloak and stomping his feet to shake the snow off his boots. He hadn’t seen Malfoy in a few years but he looked just like he expected, not that he spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about Malfoy, he thought about him a normal amount, but when he did he imagined him wearing pretentious, flowy dark coats and fur cowls, and showing up at inconvenient times. Exactly like he was doing right now. He definitely did not pay extra close attention as he slipped off his dragonhide gloves and headed to the reception desk.

“Good evening, I’m from the Havelock Sweeting sanctuary, I believe the teachers from the Rubeus Hagrid elementary school are waiting for me?” he asked, taking off his cloak and draping it over his arm in a practiced elegant move. Alright, maybe he wasn’t exactly as Harry imagined, not that he spent a lot of time thinking about Malfoy anyway, mind you. Under the cloak he was wearing a ranger uniform and he’d clearly filled out from the thin frame Harry remembered, there were broad shoulders and muscular arms there that Harry had not considered could happen. The tapered waist was exactly like he imagined, and the utility belt only highlighted it.

“That would be us!” Padma called, waving him over.

There was no way Malfoy was actually a ranger, Padma must be having him on, who the hell works as a ranger while wearing a fancy /white/ fur cowl?

“Do you want something to drink? butterbeer, firewhisky?” Padma offered once Malfoy joined them.

“No, thank you, I’m still on the clock,” he replied with an easy smile “So, children. What did you have in mind for them?” he asked.

Padma launched immediately into the planned activities for their trip and the time they set aside for the visit to the mooncalf sanctuary, Harry was too busy staring at the pink tip of Malfoy’s nose and the way his hair fell over his eyes as he went over the activities they could offer the kids to pay very close attention to what was being discussed.

“That’s so cool, what do you think, Harry?” Padma’s question pulled him out of his reverie and he realized he’d stopped listening a while ago.

“mh?” he asked

“I was saying there’s a full moon right at the end of your trip and we could arrange a night-time excursion to see the mooncalves dance,” Malfoy repeated, the hint of a smile on his face. “You think that’s doable?”

Harry felt the sting of embarrassment warm his cheeks “uhm… yeah, I could stay behind with Robbie in case…” the kid’s mother was a werewolf and they never knew how severely each moon would affect him. Padma nodded. “But yeah, sure.” He nodded “The kids will love it, I’m sure.”

Malfoy’s face lit up with a smile and launched into an explanation on how they would move at night, what paths they would take and what other activities the kids would do, what laboratories they offered during the day. Harry got lost in the way Malfoy’s elegant hands moved while he talked, the curve of his lips every time he smiled and the clear enthusiasm in his voice when he talked about his wards and how their potion ingredients supply was the highest in demand in the whole region. Potion ingredients? what was harvested from mooncalves? Harry tried to recall potions classes long lost to memory...

Dung! That’s what it was. Malfoy was all excited about literal manure. It was the most absurd and adorable thing Harry had ever witnessed. And that just wouldn’t do, since when was Malfoy adorable?

They finalized a schedule for the next three days and that was it. Sure Harry had an embarrassing crush on Malfoy and it was worse now because it wasn’t just an abstract thing in the secrecy of his mind, there was an actual real life Draco Malfoy now right there to witness it, but he could handle it. He was sure the kids would keep him occupied enough to avoid humiliating himself one way or another.

Harry didn’t know how right he was. 

The following morning Robbie started feeling sick. The approaching full moon seemed to be affecting him more severely than usual so Harry decided to stay behind with him while Padma took the rest to see the wolves. They drank a probably excessive amount of hot chocolate and played exploding snaps and gobstones all day long. Harry shared what little he knew about wolves, cursing himself for not researching in advance. They eventually decided, given Harry’s less than satisfactory answers about hunting techniques in a wolf pack, to write down all the questions Robbie could think of and then ask them to his classmates once they got back. That turned out to be a winner idea since the children came back eager to share the newly acquired knowledge about wolves until there was air in their tiny lungs. Harry got a thorough education on the topic along with a new notebook with Ayla’s (The oldest female wolf in the region) furry face on the cover. Robbie won a stuffed wolf cub out of the whole ordeal and a booklet about the sanctuary’s history.

The next day was marginally better for Robbie, but he still didn’t feel up to taking the trek to the mooncalf sanctuary so Harry stayed behind again, waving away Padma’s offer to trade off. It had nothing to do with the fact that he was avoiding Malfoy and everything with his experience with werewolf descendant children, of course.

Upon hearing that they were one chaperone down Malfoy decided it would be safer if he came down himself to escort them on the short trek from the resort to the sanctuary. He showed up in record time, still wearing that pompous fur lined cloak that made him look elegant and distinguished as if his uniform was high design. He even brought an animated mooncalf figurine for Robbie and wished him a speedy recovery. Harry hated how good he looked, years of teaching elementary school had turned Harry a little soft around the middle, even with his semi regular visits to the gym with Ron and Seamus, Malfoy’s frame was all function and tight muscles. He was burning with jealousy, that’s what it was.

His jealousy didn’t get any better when the children came back covered in snow, all rosy cheeked from the cold and starry eyed over Mr Draco the head keeper and all the things he knew about mooncalves. Padma seemed to find it funny, the traitor.

He collected several different drawings of dark cloaked, blond headed rangers, complimented each one and spelled gold stars on all of them before carefully storing them in his folder to add to the art wall back at home. It was ridiculous, Malfoy had wormed his way into the children’s good graces after just one day. 

It had taken Harry a full year before he managed to reach the regular elementary school teacher level of cool in their eyes and now Malfoy was their new favourite person. He sighed as he leafed through the drawings, smiling at the disproportionately long legs some of the kids had given Malfoy, he did have rather nice legs…

“How’s Robbie?” Padma asked, flopping down on the soft leather couch in the lounge while the kids got hot chocolate from the nice man at the bar before gathering in front of the fireplace to play before dinner. They probably shouldn’t let them have chocolate before dinner but it was a holiday trip and they’d been out hiking all day.

“About as good as could be expected. I think I’ll give him a half dose of diluted wolfsbane and see how he does in the morning. I’d hate for him to miss all of the trip,” Harry replied, closing his folder and putting it aside. The kid didn’t seem too hung up about it. He was too busy showing off his mooncalf figurine to his classmates while they shared all the new cool things mr Draco had ‘teached’ them. Harry chuckled at the unbridled enthusiasm they had, falling over words in their haste to get them all out, as if they could run out of time if they didn’t say everything at once. At least the trip was a hit.

The following morning Harry cajoled Robbie into drinking his potion and, upon eating his breakfast after it, the kid declared himself fit to take the trek to see the mooncalves. Malfoy felt the need to come all the way down and escort them anyway. The charming bastard even cast the strongest warming charm Harry had ever felt around all of them before they walked out into the snow.

The path wasn’t that long but the kids managed to find the time to pelt each other with more than a few snowballs and Harry got caught in the crossfire. He gave as good as it got and if one hit the back of Malfoy’s head Harry maintained that it was one of the dangers of his job.

As short as the hike might have been Robbie showed signs of fatigue and his infinite eight year old wisdom he decided to hang back at the cabin doing some indoor activities and save his strength for the night time hike to see the dance. He and Harry spent the day learning the recent evolution of the local herd and all the ways the sanctuary sustained itself from a very nice keeper who only got stumped by Robbie’s questions about the muggle repelling charms on the area. She told him to ask Head Keeper Malfoy and that’s exactly what he did when the rest of the class came back for lunch.

Harry took care of cleaning an endless line of tiny grubby hands listening to tales of how cool mr Draco was, and how he let them feed the babies. Malfoy pretended not to hear… He pretended very badly, the extremely unsubtle smug smile on his face gave him away. 

“What’s with giving Malfoy the stink eye, Harry?” Padma asked as they sat down at a long wooden table to eat. “You’re not falling back into bad habits, are you?”

Harry sighed and focused on his bowl of stew “No, I guess I’m just a little jealous, the kids think he hung the moon...”

Padma actually laughed at his pout “They’ll forget about him as soon as we go back home and your lame face will be the coolest thing they’ve ever seen once again,” she teased him. Harry knew she was right but right now his kids were falling all over each other to impress Malfoy and he was great at giving each some time under his undivided attention… Harry wanted some of that. The kids crowding around him, not Malfoy’s undivided attention, of course.

Harry pouted all the way into the evening watching Malfoy glow as he introduced the kids to come bowtruckles and then gathered them all in a room to prepare them for the hike. He illustrated safety procedures, recommended the proper way to walk in the dark and outfitted each of them with a head light so they could walk in the dark. They were ridiculous and adorable all lined up with their light, giggling as they tried to blind each other with it. Harry made sure all of their cloaks were buttoned up and their scarves were tucked safely around their necks before letting them walk out after Keeper Cleophe.

“Isn’t Malfoy coming with us?” Harry asked Padma while they counted the children as they filed out.

“Said he’s going to meet us there,” Padma replied “Why? Are you afraid you’ll have nothing quite as fascinating to stare at otherwise?” she teased him with a cheeky grin.

“Shut up,” Harry grumbled, shoving his hands in his pockets as he followed her out, closing the line of children.

They didn’t walk for long, Cleophe lead them along a half frozen river until they reached the edge of a clearing, Harry hung back a little, watching his breath fog in front of him, they were on one side of a small glen, the grass below them was glistening with frozen dew and the bare trees all around them were bejeweled with icicles reflecting the light of the full moon. Harry kept a close eye on Robbie but he seemed suitably excited about hiding behind the wooden structures and look down at the bottom of the glen, waiting for the mooncalves to show up.

Cleophe instructed all of them to keep quiet in order not to scare the mooncalves when they arrived. The children obediently lined up, peeking out through the small openings in the wood barriers, waiting with bated breath for the first mooncalf to arrive.

They filled the clearing in a matter of minutes, one moment it was empty, the next it was filled with big beady eyes reflecting the light of the moon. They were silly looking creatures with their stumpy little legs and disproportionately long necks, but the kids seemed awed by the unexpected grace with which they danced around in circles. Harry’s attention was caught by a movement on the opposite side of the glen, halfway up the slope, almost invisible against the thick cover of snow was a massive white wolf watching the herd.

Harry tugged on Cleophe’s sleeve and pointed it out to her, a little concerned the kids might get strange ideas about getting friendly with it after their visits to the other sanctuary. She just smiled 

“He’s the boss around here, he likes to keep a close eye on the herd,” she whispered, leaving Harry less concerned and more confused by the familiarity with which she referred to the beast.

As soon as the last mooncalf cleared the glen after their dance Cleophe distributed special gloves and bags to everyone and encouraged them to carefully make their way down and collect the droppings. The children didn’t have to be told twice, they were already halfway down before Harry could call a warning after them. As he looked around he saw no trace of the white wolf. A few more keepers had showed up to help in the collection of the valuable dung before the light of dawn rendered it unusable.

“Where’s Malfoy?” Harry asked Cleophe as they made their way down.

“Right here,” came the reply from right behind him “I know they say distance makes the heart grow fonder but I wouldn’t have imagined you’d start missing me so quickly, Potter.” The prat was grinning at him all self satisfied, still wrapped in his pretentious cloak, looking for all intents and purposes as if he’d been spun out of moonlight with his perfect blond hair and white teeth and molten silver eyes.

“Shut up,” Harry replied very eloquently, which did nothing to tone down the smugness of Malfoy’s grin. Was he reverting to playground retorts? maybe hanging out with elementary school children was starting to have its effects.

He and Malfoy worked side by side canvassing the clearing and keeping an eye out for the kids, it started getting difficult only when clouds gathered to cover the moon, dimming its light. All in all everything progressed well until it didn’t.

Harry felt ice cold panic ring out in the clearing at the distraught yell for help of a tiny voice on the opposite side, the river side. He and Malfoy both dropped their bags and sprinted towards it. Malfoy was faster, his boots flying over the driven snow, but Harry was hot on his heels. When they reached the riverside Harry felt his heart drop down to the soles of his feet. There was a clear hole in the ice, dark murky water flowing under it. Someone had fallen in.

Before he even had time to process Malfoy had taken off his cloak, cast a bubblehead charm and was diving in. Harry was left to catch his cloak as it fell, folding it over his arm and trying to follow Malfoy’s shape under the ice.

It was the longest four minutes of his life.

He cast the strongest lumos maxima he could muster and sent his patronus to patrol the banks, it took three attempts as he prayed to hear Malfoy break through the ice… he didn’t even know which of his children was missing. He quickly did a head count and dread filled him as he came up with Robbie being the one missing.

He only started breathing again when he heard Cleophe call out “Over here!” and he spotted Malfoy emerging from the ice drenched and holding a shivering Robbie to his chest. He hurried over, ignoring the gasps of everyone around as he threw Malfoy’s cloak over his back. As soon as he wrapped it around Malfoy’s shoulders he felt warmth filling him, like an injection of new magic. Robbie’s coughs and gasping breaths were the sweetest sound he ever imagined hearing. When he finally managed to tear his eyes away from the kid’s heaving chest and meet Malfoy’s eyes he found him staring back with unexplicable heat, he found himself pinned under his gaze, unable to say anything until Cleophe reached them.

“We should hurry back, there’s a snow storm gathering,” she told them, breaking Harry out of the trance he’d fallen into.

They hurried back in a tight pack and when they reached the main building the snow was already falling in big flakes, catching on their clothes and eyelashes and the wind was picking it up, whipping it past their charms. They walked inside all in different states of wetness, every last one shivering, Cleophe led the children to the living room where they could warm up by the fire, Harry and Padma obsessively counted them as they filed past them.

“We already called for emergency transportation to the hospital,” Malfoy told him, running a towel through his hair “The kid was under water a long time, he needs more help than we can give him here.”

Harry nodded, yes, that was good, they needed to get Robbie to the hospital, the others could wait the storm out here.

“I need to go out and guide the first responders here, they’ll never find this place in the storm.”

“What? No, you can’t go back out there like this,” Harry argued, there was a solid wall of twirling ice out of the window, there was no way Malfoy could go back out there. Harry’s protest only seemed to make him smile fondly for some reason.

“I’m not going  _ like this, _ ” he replied opening the door. He flipped the fur hood over his head and in front of Harry’s eyes he smoothly morphed into a massive blindingly white wolf. Harry’d never seen a canid look so smug and self satisfied in his life. Before he could formulate a thought Malfoy had bounded back into the snow, disappearing from view, leaving Harry to wonder what the hell he’d just seen. Was Malfoy an unregistered animagus? At least now Cleophe’s reaction to the wolf made sense. Did everyone know? What the hell was that, actually?

Padma came looking for him with a change of clothes, they’d raided the gift shop to find enough for everyone and they were spelling all the clothes dry so the kids would be able to have something that fit. 

“What happened to Malfoy?” Padma asked, turning around to let him change.

“He went out to meet the first responders and bring them here,” Harry replied, still not quite able to wrap his head around the fact that Malfoy was a fucking wolf. Padma didn’t seem to fazed by the fact that Malfoy had gone back out into the storm, but before Harry could ask, the blue-green light of a medical transport pierced through the storm, Malfoy stopped at the entrance to shake the snow from his fur while the mediwixes walked in with Padma to check out Robbie.

As soon as they said they’d need to take Robbie to the hospital Harry knew he was going with him. For some reason Malfoy tagged along as well, something about him being the one to perform first aid on him. Point was Harry ended up sitting in a hospital hall wearing sweatpants and a garishly yellow shirt with a big mooncalf print on the front next to Malfoy, who by some unknowable force was still impeccably dressed after a dive in a frozen river and a jog in a snowstorm. It drove Harry crazy but it was better than worrying about Robbie.

“Since when are you an animagus?” Harry asked, just to fill the oppressive silence. Malfoy looked at him with a quizzical expression

“I’m… not?” he replied.

“I saw you turn into a wolf in front of my eyes, I did not imagine that,” Harry argued.

Malfoy chuckled “I’m not an animagus, Potter, I’m a selkie.”

“Aren’t those women that turn into seals? Or maybe the other way around?”

“Wow, Potter. First of all there’s selkies of all genders, and northern sea selkies just get more publicity. I'm a wood selkie,” he explained.

Harry nodded, thinking about it for a moment. It wouldn't be the most absurd thing he'd ever heard. "Aren't you supposed to be wearing your animal skin to change shape? Something about your intended mate taking it and handing it back to you to claim both your forms?" Harry had lost all filters at that point, the longer the healers staid in the room with Robbie without giving news the more desperate to think about absolutely anything else he became.

"Is all of that made up too?" He asked Malfoy.

"Some is, some isn't. I do need to wear my skin to change," he started, turning a little to show Harry the hood of his cloak and the internal lining, all blinding white fur.

"You made your skin into a cloak?"

"It's more practical than lugging around a raw wolf pelt, don't you reckon?" Malfoy pointed out with an amused smile. "There is some truth to the mating practices as well."

Harry's mind snapped back to the moment he threw the cloak over Malfoy's shoulder and the wave of magic that settled over him at the same time.

"Oh God. I put it on you, I gave you back your skin. Did I accidentally marry you?"

"Potter-"

"I don't want to marry you like this. it's not right. I mean, you're great, I'd probably enjoy being married to you, the kids think you're the coolest thing to ever walk the earth. But not like this."

"Potter-"

"You didn't get a say in the matter, I can't marry you like this I-"

"Harry!"

Harry's mouth snapped shut at the sound of his name falling from Malfoy's lips.

"You giving me back my skin only marked you as a viable companion, most likely willing to enter into courtship. So, spent much time thinking about marrying me, have you, Potter?" The tone was light an teasing but there was a hint of uncertainty to it.

"Maybe… once or twice… as an abstract concept, not in practical terms…" Harry stammered. Malfoy reached for his ridiculous shirt and pulled him closer

"Shut up, Potter," he whispered, leaning in and hovering just a breath away from Harry's lips, giving him one last chance to pull away if he wanted. Harry took the plunge and closed the distance. He buried his hands into the soft fur of Malfoy's cloak and sighed softly against his lips, something inside him sung when Malfoy closed his arms around him, pulling him into the warmth of his body. Harry gasped when Malfoy's cold hand cupped his face, sliding down to his neck and into his hair, tugging slightly to tilt his head back. He shivered at the tentative nibble on his bottom lip, Malfoy's tongue soothing the sting of his teeth immediately, seeking entrance. Harry parted his lips for him, a soft moan escaping him at the first touch of Malfoy's tongue against his own. Harry's hands clenched against the material of Malfoy's uniform, trying to get him impossibly closer.

They jumped apart at the sound of a door opening, but it wasn't the one they had hoped for. Harry brushed his finger along his bottom lip, still tingling from the kiss.

"So, are we getting married?" He asked, feeling his cheeks heat up at the question.

"How about you take me out to dinner first? And next time you ask maybe throw a ring in, maybe a better outfit too," Malfoy replied with a smile full of fond amusement.

In the hour it took for someone to come tell them Robbie was ok but would be staying overnight for observation, Harry learned how Malfoy came to be Head keeper of the moon calf sanctuary and Harry told him about his ruinous attempt at becoming an Auror and his much more successful teaching career in return. They tentatively agreed to call each other by first name, although Harry suspected Draco wouldn't let him miss the way 'Potter' sounded on his lips, the hint of ownership in the way Draco said it, the history that was encapsulated in that single word.

Harry sent a Patronus to Padma to let her know everything was ok and they'd be staying at the hospital until morning. No sense in braving the storm again.

Robbie came out better than new, his sprained ankle was set in a matter of minutes, his lungs were fine and so were all of his extremities once he got warmed up. They still got hot chocolate with extra cream and marshmallows before going back. Robbie was welcomed back like a hero by his classmates and Harry could breathe freely once he saw him launch into an overdramatic rendition of the events of the previous night for the other kids' entertainment.

He glanced up at Draco and found him smiling with the same fondness. He walked them back to the resort as soon as all the children had changed back into their clothes, the storm had left the paths and streets covered in white and hard to detect but the sun was bright and the fear from the night before entirely gone, replaced by something warm, delicate and tentative, something that tasted of hot chocolate on Harry's tongue and a hint of peppermint. He didn't avert his eyes when Draco turned to catch him staring and winked.

He said goodbye personally to each kid once they were ready to leave and that did nothing to dampen the children's collective crush on him, or Harry's for that matter.

"So, that wasn't part of the plan," Padma commented while they waited for the knight bus. Harry hummed, things had gone to shit and it could have ended very badly, but sometimes shit turns to gold…

"No, not part of the plan at all," Harry agreed with a wistful smile. 

Padma didn't tease him when he proposed to make the impromptu trip a yearly tradition… not a lot anyway.

It gained a lot of popularity and Harry didn't have to struggle as much to find someone to join him in chaperoning the kids. It was five years later on one of those that He asked Draco to marry him, properly this time, with a ring and appropriate accessorization.

**Author's Note:**

> Share the love and the holiday spirit in the comments.  
I might write an epilogue post fest, I might not. If you want more, drop me a line and let me know how much you love this nonsense.


End file.
